Poor baby girl is sick. She managed to stay healthy during November and December, when I was hit with strep throat, a lingering cough, and the flu, but a nasty bug finally caught up with her. It’s just a cold, but it’s made her so congested and stolen away her joie de vivre and sunny disposition, leaving us with a cranky, moody toddler (well, even more so than usual).
I took her to the pediatrician yesterday just to make sure it wasn’t an ear infection or something more serious. Poor thing started crying as soon as the nurse called her name to take her back to the exam room. I don’t know why she freaks out so completely every time we visit the doctor. It might have something to do with her traumatic birth/NICU stay, or possibly the shots she has to get nearly every time. Whatever the reason by the time I got her undressed and we tried to weigh her she was completely beside herself, screaming and trying to throw herself off the scale and into my arms. I have no idea whether or not the nurse got an accurate weight (I’m thinking no) but as soon as I picked her up she wrapped her arms and legs around me like a little spider monkey, burying her face in my shoulder. Thankfully the nurse practitioner we saw took it all in stride, doing her examination while C was still in my arms, whistling softly while she checked for “birdies” in Baby Girl’s ears. She didn’t even make me feel dumb for scheduling an appointment for “just a cold.” She got five stars. 🙂
When we got home all C wanted to do was snuggle with me on the couch. I was in seventh heaven. Baby Girl isn’t usually much of a cuddle bug…she’s too busy moving and playing to sit still for more than a few seconds most days. But this time she just settled back in my arms for the whole Tinker Bell movie. In fact most of the day she wouldn’t leave my side, needing the physical contact to assure herself that mama was there.
I’ve been praying recently that God would make me more aware of Him throughout my day. C’s sudden neediness for me opened my eyes in a very clear way to why God asks me to spend time with Him. If I find such pleasure in cuddling with my daughter, how much more pleasure does God get when I stop to just be with Him! Not out of obligation, just out of my need to be near Him, to know He is there with me. It’s true the times I’ve felt closest to my Heavenly Father were times of hardship and pain. Just like my sweet Baby Girl, when I’m not feeling well I need my Abba. And He graciously and joyfully gives me the gift of His presence, just like I am happy to forget the dishes and my to-do list and just sit with my daughter in my lap.
I want to practice spending time with my Lord, just enjoying being together. I don’t really know how to do that, other than the tried and true disciplines of prayer, scripture reading and memorization. So I will practice those disciplines and learn to rest more often in my Father’s arms.