Mommy lesson #59: Kids really do say the darndest things

Does anyone else feel like summer is bearing down on them like a freight train? Maybe not. If you have kids in school it’s more likely that you are counting down the days, which seem to be crawling by at a snail’s pace. My stress level has more to do with this week’s calendar, which is jam-packed with responsibilities including teacher gifts for Charlotte’s amazing mother’s day out teachers and planning/decorating/cooking for our end of the year MOPS celebration. This wouldn’t normally be that big of a deal, but we are leaving for the beach on Saturday and the thought of packing and then enduring an 11+ hour car trip with a two year old on top of everything else just seems rather daunting. The crazy thing is all of the activities that are stressing me out are things I signed up for and am excited about. Dumb. Anyway, whatever stress you are dealing with (and I’m sure everyone has some level) I’m sure we could all use a little pick-me-up to give us something to smile about. How about some of the strange/surprising/hilarious conversations I’ve recently had with my two going on sixteen year old?

When getting up from her nap:
Me: “Give Mommy your paci please.”
C: (shaking her head) “No, I don’t think so.”

At a local city street festival, watching kids jump on one of those bungee jump sling-shot rides that launch you thirty feet into the air:
C: “Want try dat Mommy. My turn Mommy. I try dat.” (She refused to be convinced that she wasn’t quite big enough, and a full-on meltdown was narrowly avoided when Daddy appeared with ice cream.)

Talking to her figurine of Crush the turtle from Finding Nemo:
C: “Come here Dude. Go this way Dude. Go down dere Dude.” (Not sure if she thinks that’s his name, or if she just remembers the turtle from Turtle Talk with Crush at Disney World teaching all the kids to say Dude.)

A week or so after Easter, while hiding the Easter eggs again so she could go on yet another egg hunt:
C: “Let’s go eggs. Come on eggs. Oh no, where’d eggs go?”

Just before doing a belly flop onto the couch:
C: “One, Two, Three…SIX!!”

After figuring out how to take off her outfit:
Me: “Charlotte why are you naked?”
C: “I take the clothes off. I cook it.” And she puts her clothes in the microwave of her play kitchen.

At her sweetheart Sam’s birthday party:
C: “Want cupcake Mommy.”
Me: “Not yet, we have to sing Happy Birthday to Sam first and let him blow out the candles.”
C: “SAMUEL!” Come here Sam! Need to sing you!”

While we’re driving a car switches lanes right in front of me, cutting me off:
C: “Whoa, look out cars!”
Me: “Yeah, no kidding baby.”
C: “No kidding Mommy.”

On a walk around the neighborhood:
C: “Where people Mommy?”
Me: “I don’t know sweetie. They’re in their houses.”
C: “Want to see people Mommy. Find people.” (Think she might be an extrovert, just maybe?)

I’m sure there are more that I’ve forgotten about. I wanted to write some of her statements down before I forgot them. Thanks for indulging me. I hope they brightened your day a little. Now how about brightening mine? What conversations have you had with your tot that were just too funny not to share?

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